Cabin Fever

woah... finally had the time to update my blog. Not that I was busy but my sister was hogging the comp for the past few days, rushing to complete some report, while her evil brother (me) so happily laze around and did something, the something being nothing. ahh... this is the life. *evil grin*
Anyway, in line with the SkyCruiser tradition, I decided to blog about the natural beauties of Mother Nature. Didn't know I am a naturalist eh? Well... hope onboard and explore the jungles of the PLANEt with me!
Today, we are going to explore and discover the species of ape which makes the band BUSTED go ga-ga over and even sang a song about. And here's how the lyrics go:

(Let's go!)
(Yeah! Alright!)
Walking through the terminal
I saw something beautiful
You left, for your duty call
Next I'm getting on the plane
That's when I see you again
I can't get you off my brain

(Let's go)
That uniform you're wearing
So hot I can't stop staring
You're putting on an awesome show
The cabin pressure's rising
My coke has got no ice in now

[Chorus:]
Air hostess
I like the way you dress
Though I hate to fly
But I feel much better
Occupied my mind
Writing you a love letter
I messed my pants
When we flew over France
Will I see you soon
In my hotel room
For a holiday romance?

Air hostess
Throwing peanuts down the aisle
Stupid but it made you smile
You came over for a while
Then you whispered in my ear
The words that I longed to hear
"I want you to thrill me here"

You can't because you're working
The paparazzi's lurking
You didn't know I'm in a band
In England people know me
One photo's worth a hundred grand

[Chorus]

Na, na na-na
Na, na na-na
Na, na na-na
Na, na na-na
Na, na na-na
Na, na na-na
Na, na na-na

That uniform you're wearing
So hot I can't stop staring
You're putting on an awesome show
The plane has almost landed
So tell me where I'm standing now

[Chorus]

Cos' you're my air hostess
I love the way you dress
Air hostess
My air hostess
I love the way you dress
Air hostess

Nice song eh. As you may have guessed, the title of this song is "Air Hostess", and these beings are the roots to the sexed-up airline industry. A number of specimens of this bizarre organism will be dissected for our scientific evaluation today. However, I have been unable to obtain high quality photographs of these rare bipedals so forgive my rather amateur sketches.

SPECIMEN I

GENERIC NAME: The Sweet Young Thing
SCIENTIFIC NAME(S): Cabin Virgin, Skyla Greenhorn,
DESCRIPTION: These young nymphs are larvae form of most Sky Girls (others are naturally borned The Bitch, look under Specimen III). Quite helpful and cheerful as they look forward to a new adventure on every flight. However, they tend to be bossed about by the other classes of air hostesses.
BEHAVIOUR: These young chicks flashes sweet smiles and chirps joyfully, "Welcome Aboard". They also tend to wing up and down the aisle trying to cope with more demands than they can handle, all the while displaying that die-hard schoolgirl grin.

SPECIMEN II

GENERIC NAME: The Behemoth
SCIENTIFIC NAME(S): Lumbering Ogressina, Air Hulkstess
DESCRIPTION: These 150kg trolls are way past their prime. Once beautiful Sweet Young Things (see Specimen I) who graced the skies, these beasts of burden now trot up and down the aisle of planes which they can be grandmothers to.
BEHAVIOUR: These gentle giants, friendly and motherly, can be more valuable an asset to the airline than other specimens, with their knowledge and experience. Beware: If you are a guy, do take caution when approached by these mammoths, snorting, "coffee or tea for you, sir?". What they really mean is "coffee, tea or *desperately* Me.... for you, sir?"

SPECIMEN III

GENERIC NAME: The Bitch
SCIENTIFIC NAME(S): THE BITCH
DESCRIPTION: These vile and evil vermin just loves preying on travellers tired and weary on their journey home and also relishes in scratching a dent in the joy of holidaymakers excited about their new trip. If there's a King of the Jungle, she's the Queen of the Aisle. Get out of her way!
BEHAVIOUR: Spits venom, "Keep your seatbeats fastened", "No Eating!", "Stowaway that handset now", "Sorry, there's no more orange juice" at your face or just...
...ignores you completely.

SPECIMEN IV

GENERIC NAME: The Hottie Hostie
SCIENTIFIC NAME(S): Air Stewavenus, Flight Attentiondent
DESCRIPTION: ahhh.... These sassy trolley-dollies sashaying up and down the aisle is every guy's fantasy. Confident, yet polite and gentle, and more importantly, beautiful, perfecto! However, these pretty songbirds might draw the ire of female passengers, most who may try to convince themselves, "it's just the uniform". Also, these exotic beauties are the ones who give the title Air Stewardess that scandalous ring to it. And by exotic beauties, that could mean Singapore's very own Sarong Party Girls. Betcha wondering if they had filtered into our local cabin crew industry? Hell yeah... by the planeload!
BEHAVIOUR: pretty faces, captivating smiles, enchanting voices, sexy catwalks down the aisle, need I say more?

SPECIMEN V

GENERIC NAME: The Man Stewardess
SCIENTIFIC NAME(S): Super Woman
DESCRIPTION: These masculine forms of stewardesses have began making an reappearance after the September 11 attacks in which hapless Sky girls were massacred with box-cutters by evil terrorists and thus, unable to fulfil their duties as aides to the passengers. Stereotypically gay, those that aren't got to sweat it out to uphold their manhood. Those that are, well... just prance merrily up and down the aisle.
BEHAVIOUR: Either gentlemanly and a killer with the lady passengers, or as Specimen I, chirps, "Welcome aboard!" and gives you that schoolgirl grin. Ughh...

Yeah. These are some fine samples of the species "Air Hostess" which you may come across whilst whisking your way around the world. So before you go onboard a plane...
...remember, it's a jungle out there... Have fun!
*ROAR~~~~~*