Flyer Criticizer

What a freaking tiring day! This is what you look like: when you are up at 4am mugging for a test you have no idea about, scrambling your brains out trying to decipher the intricate codes on the paper 5 hours later, then after surviving (barely) the torturous lecture after the test, you can make deepfried brains tempura whilst slaving through a challenging (think man vs machine) computer project.

What is at the end of the day? Eyebags the same size as those garbage ones, in a much darker colour though.

It had been a very busy week. Didn't had the opportunity to update this little baby or rather blogby. Anyway, I was scanning through Thursday's Today newspaper and instead of finding news articles, I found an airline catalogue instead.
A total of 9 different airlines fought for my attention through a variety of advertisements, thus efficiently embracing Singapore's only free daily with attractive deals and promotions. At the same time, making seductive advances on the newsreader, teasing them with temptating deals, whilst enticing their deep pockets (Fine, they would rather queue up for a free newspaper but they gotta have deep pockets to stuff that tabloid handout in).

Anyway, flipping through those pages got me interested. Not in the deals and promotions of the adverts but the adverts themselves; on how airlines try to outdo each other in the advertising battles. Well, I will take on the role of Skymon Cruiwell (not to be implicated with an ageing, foul-mouthed British fruit tart) and give my take on the advertisements from the Thursday gazette.

Flyer Factor:
(o_o) (o_o) (o_o) (o_o) (o_o) - 5 Heads! Flights all sold out till after Christmas (2007's, that is)
(o_o) (o_o) (o_o) (o_o) - 4 Heads! Good job! Now do a better one with your hordes of passengers
(o_o) (o_o) (o_o) - 3 Heads! Nice Ad! Not as pretty as your stewardesses though
(o_o) (o_o) - 2 Heads! Like your effort! But gotta try harder for that fat lady's purse
(o_o) - 1 Head! Huh? What ad?
( )( ) - 1 Butt! To be wiped with with your news ad! Then flushed down the toilet bowl!

Now, bring it on!

Ad No. 1 Airline: Tiger Airways
Ad type: Special Deals
Comments: The same ad I had been seeing for months. SGD$9.98 one-way ticket for 11 destinations is really eye-grabbing but readers have grown immune to the 100 and 1 terms and conditions dragging with it. As the caption goes, "What's new pussycat?" Yeah.. What's new?

Flyer Factor: (o_o)

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Ad No. 2

Airline: Singapore Airlines
Ad type: Promotion of new destination
Comments: Full-page advert for the promotion of new flights to Pakistan. Good detailed ad which includes specific flight details. However, no price was mentioned. Picture seems to symbolise a man (Singapore Airlines) tossing a ball (a plane) to 3 cricket players (the 3 days that SIA's Pakistan-bound flights will be operating on) wearing green wristbands and caps (symbolises Pakistan's flag?) leaping to grab it. Hmmm... is Pakistan so desperate for the pretty Singapore Girl as pictured below the picture?

Flyer Factor: (o_o) (o_o) (o_o)

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Ad No. 3

Airline: Air New Zealand
Ad type: Promotion of new aircraft/services
Comments: I like their slogan "Discover our love for wide open spaces when you fly our nw Pacific Premium Economy" and using a beautiful Lord-of-the-Rings style picture to symbolise it. Ad also gives details on upcoming road show (I will definately be there), special deals and a small picture of Sleeping Beauty. Ok Ok... its a napping Blonde lady who looks really comfortable. Way to go, New Zealanders!

Flyer Factor: (o_o) (o_o) (o_o) (o_o)

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Ad No.4

Airline: Royal Brunei Airlines
Ad type: Special Deal
Comments: Black-and-white advert (not to mention tiny) doing a free advertisement for the Burj Al Arab, which I believe is the world's only 7* hotel, probably a holiday retreat for Brunei's royalty. The deal is only convincing with the really low price offered by RBA. As I flip to the next page, the caption in white, "Fly Royal Brunei" catches my glance, still I continued my action, as it's way too weak to convince me to do otherwise. Next Ad!

Flyer Factor: (o_o)

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Ad No.5

Airline: QANTAS Airways
Ad type: Special Deals
Comments: Typical QANTAS red kangaroo ad. This time, taking advantage of Australia Day (in 2 more weeks) to slug it off with archrival SIA on SIA's hometurf with dirt cheap deals. Dirty strategy to use the national day of Australia to pillage SIA's local market but with such budget airfare with great service, who won't be swayed by the "Spirit of Australia".

Flyer Factor: (o_o) (o_o) (o_o)

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Ad No.6

Airline: Northwest Airlines
Ad type: Special Deals
Comments: USA from $889? Tokyo/Nagoya at $489? I guess if you wanna save on print ink, print the prices as big (and as cheaply as possible). Full page advertisement in drab grey and red colours, with just the prices dominating the entire page. They do use their new A330 aircraft to ply the Singapore-Tokyo route (one must catch a connecting flight to USA from Tokyo, their hub) but gives little information. Bad idea. Most Singaporeans have a vague or negative opinion of US airlines, generally as a ricketty old jet-oil-guzzler with loose screws and on the minds of Osama's terrorist crew. Gotta do better than that! Show Singapore what the USA got! Keep the prices in cheapo standards though. Love you.

Flyer Factor: (o_o) (o_o)

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Ad No.7

Airline: British Airways
Ad type: Special Deals
Comments: Numerous special airfares to Europe and Australia, with a witty slogan, "Travel more. Spend less. Keep two New Year's resolutions at once." Quite amusing yet very true. However, I have seen more creative ads by British Airways, rather than a boring overstretched rectangular brown bag (a fish tank carrier?) with little blue tags sticking out like used iodine-stained bus tickets. Still a good ad all the same.

Flyer Factor: (o_o) (o_o) (o_o)

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Ad No.8

Airline: THAI Airways International
Ad type: Promotion on destinations
Comments: Colourful full-page ad whose purple background and striking orchids flowing down from the Statue of Liberty and Hollywood symbol. Gives information on the state-of-the-art A340-500 aircraft utilised and the departure/arrival times, even including the connecting flights from Singapore - Bangkok and vice versa. A classy ad to target business travellors to USA I guess. As the THAI's slogan goes, "Smooth as Silk". Yeah, real smooth. Good work!
p.s. nice salmon fillet in that small right pic at the bottom. Yum. Yum.

Flyer Factor: (o_o) (o_o) (o_o) (o_o)

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Ad No.9

Airline: Austrian Airlines
Ad Type: Promotion of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart?
Comments: This is quite an unusual ad, promotion of what Austrian claims to be the most famous Austrian of all times. I wasn;t even aware that Mozart was Austrian. Thought he was German. Anyway, a flat-chested sleepy looking air hostess doing a fellow Austrian, Arnold Schwarzenegger's muscle-flexing pose, whilst stuffing a guitar which I think can barely fit into the baggage compartment is a real no no. "Sounds of Austria"? From the air hostess' rather hostile, asskicking pose, I plead to differ so. Come on Austrian, you gotta be more contemporary to pull the wonderful rich heritage of Viennese music off.

Flyer Factor: (o_o) (o_o)

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And there you have it. The most unforgetable (and most forgetable advertisements of last Thursday's TODAY's newspaper {Jan 12 2006}) As they say, the pen is mightier than the sword. Can't rough it at the airport? Slug it out on the news, big boys. Some ads were convincing enough to almost send me packing my suitcases. However, money (or the lack of it) is definately more mightier than the pen. Again, as they say, no money, no honey!
Hence I shall contemplate with being stuck in sunny Singapore doing nothing but complaining about airline ads.

Tata~